Why do kids do the weird things they do? And especially why do ADHD kids have peculiar behaviors?
It's always fascinating when I get a glimpse into the motivations behind Abby's bizarre behavior. Often when I understand what was driving it, I'm much less angry and frustrated.
As in this scenario:
Last week I worked 8:30-5 p.m., went to shoot a photo and interview a family for work at 5 p.m. Left there at 6:40 and headed to Ryker's basketball tournament in Springfield. From there, I went to Wal-mart to shop for two weeks of groceries. I pulled into the driveway at 10:15 p.m. and noticed Abby's bedroom light was on. She rarely sleeps...ever. One of the delights of ADHD.
I walked straight to her room and opened the door to catch her on the floor spread out in a Lego paradise that stretched the width of her room along one side of her bed. What a mess! I bit my tongue and gently said:
"Abby. It's after 10. What a mess you've made. You need to get to bed, and you'll have to clean this up later."
She had already sprung into bed as soon as I opened the door. As I walked to the far side of the bed to tuck her in, I discovered her art portfolio bag was open and paints were spilled out everywhere. Only one paint was open, and the mess was relatively contained. But the brush was ruined with sticky, dry blue oil-based paint on it.
I sighed. Probably loudly. "Why would you do this?" I asked. It's a question that she hears a lot. She shrugged her shoulders. I mumbled something about how unreal the mess was and that she should be sleeping, and she did what she always did -- quickly agreed with everything I said. It's a game we play, I think, to avoid real conversations on the issue. Then I left the same way I came in -- quickly and quietly.
Two minutes later she was standing in the kitchen crying about needing her iPod back because she can't sleep unless she's listening to Harry Potter books. I refused. Taking away the iPod was punishment for the mess and she'd have to live without it.
Her drama, tears. My refusal. Repeat.
Finally, she went to bed.
Two days later -- after numerous attempts to spark a conversation about what could be so important that she's doing it at 10 p.m. on a school night -- she tells me that .....
she was recreating scenes from the fourth Harry Potter book. And she didn't have a Fleur Delacour character, so she had to use parts of other Lego figures. None had a blue shirt like Fleur is SUPPOSED to have, so she got out the paints to fix it. (See below)
After three or four days of stumbling over Legos in her room, I finally asked her to explain what was going on. I think I slept through No. 4, so I didn't understand the level of detail. But maybe you will.
This is the Beuxbatons carriage (on the left) used to take students to the tri-wizard tournament. And the Durmstrang boat (right).
The tent from the Quidditch World Cup competition.
A closeup of the backpacks on the end of the bunks in the tent.
Harry and Ron sitting on the bunks.
The Abraxan (winged horse) that carries the carriage. Since she didn't have a winged horse, she made this camel appear to have wings
Fleur Delacour with her new blue shirt.
An overview of the tent that shows the restroom on the right.
The Tri-wizard trophy, as per Abby's design.
The Goblet of fire.
A view of the fire on the inside of the goblet.
She can hyperfocus on Legos for hours on end. Some days this is great, and other days -- as you can imagine -- it causes problems as it turns into a distraction from the things she should be doing. But I'm proud of her determination to recreate and create using her imagination. This stuff is pretty impressive, but of course, I'm a tad biased!
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